So, I love running. I run five days a week in preparation for the upcoming marathon in December -- Mondays are my "fast" day - That is, whatever distance I'm running, I run at race pace -- 5k, 10k, whatever, I basically run it as fast as I possibly can -- This is where the hate comes in... That's hard.
It's tough going out the door knowing I'm basically running a mock race - No cheering fans & friends at the finish - No medals - No t-shirt - Just the satisfaction of knowing I've left it all on the street, and forced my feet to turn over and heart to hit 185 beats per minute, while my muscles, legs and lungs feel like they're about to explode!
But, I love it - because I know come marathon-day, my body, heart, and mind will be better prepared for the 26.2 miles. I love it - I hate it - But, I do it!
Guess that's kinda' the thing with my soul as well - I love what God can do when I'm available and open to His prompting - But, some days I hate His prompting. Sometimes it's tough to motivate myself to tackle the difficult issues of life - Those gray places that beg for black or white, yet, when filtered through the soul just can't come out quite so clean and tidy - Those ambivalent times when it would be much easier to give in and go with the flow, or cave to the pressure - Those days when I'd rather just stay in bed, or, maybe sit on the couch and eat a couple of Twinkies and bag the difficult task of reflection that lays before me...
But, I discipline myself to do these things so when the day comes and I have to stand for what I believe, deal with the situation, act on my faith, and know that when it's all said and done, I've done the best I can to do the best I can do...